wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
