I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
