Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it glows. i had to have it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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