I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
