I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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