oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ambien. No doubt about it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
