brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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