Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
