Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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