Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
