I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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