they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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