he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
