Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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