WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I need a burrito and a hug.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
