I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
