I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
