It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
