how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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