she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
