Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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