My hand turned me down
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
