You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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