i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
