hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
