I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
