dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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