i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I love having hate sex.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
