well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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