I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
