Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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