HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
