he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
