Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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