Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
