I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
