His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
