Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
