apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
