You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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