Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
