did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
