I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
