i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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