Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
