Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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