I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
