I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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