He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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