Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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