I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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