Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
