WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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