Kiss
Puke
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
